


Fire and Rain

by arborealstops



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 11:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17897234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arborealstops/pseuds/arborealstops
Summary: But I always thought that I'd see you again





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [supernatural_mondler (1DE3shipper)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/1DE3shipper/gifts).



_"I've seen fire and I've seen rain_  
_I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end_  
_I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend_  
_But I always thought that I'd see you again"_

-

Abbey stopped and turned back to the doctor. "What about Josh?"

The doctor hesitated briefly, barely enough to notice, but it caused Abbey's breath to hitch. "The bullet lacerated his pulmonary artery."

 _Shit._ "Can they try a Gore Tex graft?"

The doctor shook his head. "No. They're going to have to stay in and try to repair the artery primarily."

Abbey nodded, then thanked the doctor. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she opened the door to the waiting room. "So, here's what's happening with Josh," she began, knowing that she would have to choose her words carefully if she was going to reassure them. "They have to perform a-" complicated, difficult, "-special surgery. The bullet grazed an- a blood vessel, and they need to repair it." Abbey could only hope that they didn't see through her simpler, softer words to the ugly truth underneath. 

She looked around at the people in front of her. There was CJ, Claudia Jean, the closest person she had to a friend out of the people here. Her hand was bloody from holding Josh's, but she didn't seem to notice. Her usually bright eyes were dull and confused. 

There was Toby, whose shirt was stained with someone else's blood. There was something in his haunted eyes that she would never understand, because he had been there. 

Sam had tears in his eyes that Abbey respectfully ignored, though she knew he was taking this worse than almost anyone there. Josh was his best friend, and Sam obviously blamed himself for not being there. 

"It's going to be a few hours," Abbey told them. "You should see if there's anything for you to do."

Unable to watch their broken expressions any longer, Abbey returned to the halls of the hospital, the most familiar and comforting place in the midst of this hellish situation. 

☆☆

When Abbey returned to the waiting room, almost none of the staff members had moved, but their eyes were all locked in the same place. Abbey followed their gaze and nearly gasped aloud. _Donna._ How had no one thought to get her? 

The young woman had been packing anxiously, one hand clamped over her mouth, but she stopped when Abbey entered. Her eyes were bright with tears, and she looked utterly lost. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, then closed it again. Gently, Abbey stepped forward and led her to a chair.

Donna collapsed into it, and Abbey sat next to her, rubbing her arm comfortingly. She didn't know who had told Donna, but she knew that everyone in the room was frightened enough that they probably hadn't thought to let her know gently. Abbey couldn't fault them for that. 

She watched, frowning, as Donna visibly collected herself. "Mrs.- I'm sorry about the President, Mrs. Bartlet," Donna eventually croaked out, and Abbey bit back a disbelieving laugh. 

"Donna," she said gently, "my husband is going to be fine." In an attempt to lighten the mood, she added, "I doubt his ego would permit him to die from anything so small as a gun wound." A small smile curled Donna's lips, but it didn't meet her eyes. 

"Mrs. Bartlet, is there anything I should be doing? That Josh's office should be doing?" Donna didn't look up from her lap as she spoke. "I can go in and work- do whatever you need-"

Abbey cut her off, shaking her head. "Right now, you need to be here," Abbey assured her. 

Donna nodded, and the two of them sat, watching the clock on the wall and counting every second. 

☆☆

"Mrs. Bartlet?" Abbey looked up as a doctor walked into the waiting room. She glanced around at the waiting room- Sam had curled up in his chair and was sleeping fitfully; CJ placed the length of the room; Toby was eating a bag of peanuts and staring at nothing; and Donna hadn't moved since sitting down. They probably should have gone back to the White House by now, but Leo had said that everything was under control for the moment. Sighing, she stood and walked over to the doctor. 

"What's the news?" she asked, her voice a soft whisper. If it was anything bad, she would rather the staff heard from her than from overhearing a doctor. But she needn't have worried.

"Mrs. Bartlet, your husband is out of surgery, and he wants to-"

"Where is he?" 

"Room 103, ma'am." The words were barely out of the doctor's mouth before she was hurrying down the hall to visit her husband. 

☆☆

"But Leo said that all of our people were safe..." 

Abbey couldn't stand the confused, lost sound of her husband's voice. It made her want to cry, but she knew she couldn't do that. No matter if they viewed Josh as a son or not, Abbey refused to break down. The rest of the staff, close as family, needed someone to lean on. Abbey could be that for them. 

"I know, Jed. They didn't realize they didn't have Josh when-"

"How can you not realize something like that?" Jed's eyes filled with tears, and his voice was angry, but Abbey could see last that. He was scared. 

"Jed, he has some of the best doctors in the country working on him." But Jed shook his head. 

"I have to see him."

"Jed, that's not necessary," Abbey replied. "And he's still in surgery."

Jed struggled to sit up. "I have to see him, Abbey," he growled determinedly. "I have to-"

He broke off as the door opened and a doctor stepped in. "Mrs. Bartlet?"

Abbey's breath hitched, and she stood as Jed fell back against his pillows. "Yes?"

The doctor beckoned, and Abbey glanced back at her husband, who nodded. Heart in her throat, she stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Unable to speak, she looked at the doctor, pleading and praying and hoping. 

The doctor met her eyes, then ever so slowly, shook her head. And Abbey fell against the wall, wondering how she could break this news. 

☆☆


	2. 2

Toby was the only staff member left in the waiting room when Mrs. Bartlet returned. Leo had needed help at the White House, and Sam, anxious to do anything to keep his mind occupied, had taken a cab back to help him. CJ had left with Donna not long after, in an attempt to get the younger woman to eat something. That left Toby to sit in the waiting room, with nothing but his thoughts to occupy his time. 

And what thoughts they were. Any time Toby closed his eyes, all he could see was Josh. Josh, his eyes panicked until he met Toby’s and finally let himself relax. Josh, falling to the pavement, nothing but Toby’s arms to stop him from hitting his head. Josh, struggling to talk, to tell them No, I shouldn’t be here, I have work to do. 

It was all Toby’s fault, and he knew it. He’d been the one to write the memo, asking the Secret Service agents not to use the tent, to let them all walk freely. And look where that had gotten them- the president under anesthesia and Josh, one of the few people Toby actually considered a friend, on the verge of death. 

These were the thoughts that Toby was pulled out of when Mrs. Bartlet cleared her throat, getting his attention. Looking up, Toby didn’t even ask if she had news. If she did, she would tell him, though at this point, he felt he was almost better off not asking. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he had promised to call CJ and Sam if he got any news. He raised an eyebrow. 

Mrs. Bartlet settled into the chair next to him, not meeting his eyes as she spoke. “Jed is out of surgery. He’s going to be just fine, already cracking jokes.” She paused and looked around. “Where’s everyone else?”

For once, Toby chose to ignore the falseness of her cheery voice, and instead focused on his relief. The president was okay. “Leo needed help, and Donna needed food,” he replied bluntly. 

The first lady nodded slowly, and something about the movement caused Toby’s heart to move into his throat. “Mrs. Bartlet?”

Still not facing him, she ever so slowly shook her head. Toby saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to face her. 

He watched as she began speaking. “They were operating- the bullet lacerated his artery, you know? His pulmonary artery, it carries blood from- oh, that doesn’t matter. Usually, they could fix it with a Gore Tex graft- basically a synthetic artery- but they couldn’t and-” Toby flinched as her voice broke. “And they were going to repair it manually, but something tore, and-” She shook her head, and her voice dropped. “Something tore, and there wasn’t enough blood getting to his brain. It couldn’t function.” Finally, finally, Mrs. Bartlet turned to face him. “He’s dead,” she whispered. 

Toby felt Mrs. Bartlet’s eyes on him as he stood up. He slowly paced back and forth along the wall, forcing down tears, guilt, and pain. If only he’d found Josh sooner, if only he’d stuck with him, if only he’d kept the tent, or he’d told the president to skip the line… there were so many things he could have done, and he wouldn’t have ended up here. Here, in a hospital, knowing that he’ll never see Josh alive again. 

Suddenly he stopped his pacing. “Someone has to tell Donna.”


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CJ's turn

CJ was making a mug of tea when her cell phone rang. The sudden sound in her quiet apartment made her jump, and an image of shattered glass and sirens leapt unbidden to her mind. She shook her head to clear her vision and set the mug down in front of Donna, who stared blankly at CJ’s kitchen wall.

Fishing around for her phone, CJ studied the younger woman. She looked pale and sickly, and her eyes were glossed over. CJ had brought her to the apartment straight from GW, and Donna had immediately slumped into a chair, and hadn’t moved since. CJ knew that Donna had been hit the hardest by the shock of Josh’s state, but CJ was growing more and more worried as the night wore on.

The incessant ringing of her cell jolted CJ out of her thoughts. She finally dug her phone out of her purse and flipped it open to see Toby’s name on the small screen. A small beat of hope fluttered in her chest, but she still moved to the bedroom as she held the phone to her ear. 

“Hello?” The silence on the other end lasted just a little too long. CJ pulled the phone away from her ear, but the call was still going. Frowning, she tried again. “Toby?”

A shaky breath came through the line, and CJ’s hand flew to her neck, looking for the chain that usually hung there, only to find it missing. Her throat tightened. She always wore that necklace- it was like a worry stone, and she hadn’t taken it off since Toby had gotten it for her for Christmas a few years ago. The loss of it raised an irrational surge of fear in her heart. 

“How- how’s Donna?” Toby asked, and CJ nearly screamed. She didn’t have time for Toby’s sweet, but sorely misplaced, courtesy right now. “She hasn’t eaten, she isn’t drinking anything, and she’s staring at a wall,” CJ snapped, her worry showing through her walls. 

Toby sighed, and CJ closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “It’s just…”

“CJ,” Toby interrupted her, and something in his voice caused her heart to jump to her throat. 

“CJ, he- he’s gone…”

She’d almost been expecting it, had been preparing for it ever since she’d seen it was him calling. Still, she let out an involuntary cry. Clamping a hand to her mouth, she stumbled to the bed, sitting down hard. Tears pooled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she tried to control her breathing. The choked sobs coming through the phone didn’t help with that. 

Finally, she spoke. “When?”

The line crackled as Toby took a breath. “About twenty minutes. CJ-”

His voice broke, and CJ looked down at her lap. “I know, Toby. I know.” She stared out the window for a moment, watching the lights in the building across the street and wondering how they could all just keep going with their lives, as if nothing had happened. Then again, to them, nothing had. 

“Somebody has to tell Donna.” Toby’s voice dragged her from her thoughts. She stood and leaned against the doorway, looking into the kitchen.

“Yeah.” Donna still hadn’t moved, the mug of tea untouched and growing cold. “I think I’ll talk to the doctors first,” CJ said softly, turning back to face her room. A hollow feeling filled her chest as she thought about what was undoubtedly coming next. “I’ve got to get ready for- for the briefing.”

A few tears leaked down her cheeks and suddenly she wished Toby were there, or Abbey, anyone. She wiped her face as Toby finally spoke. 

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Just, CJ, don’t- don’t-”

CJ laid back on the bed, understanding everything he couldn’t say. Don’t bury yourself in the work. Don’t hide from the pain. Don’t try to do it all. Don’t forget your friends.

“I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just looking back and realized that Toby's chapter is embarrassingly short... I'm so sorry about that. I have the most difficulty with his POV, but I'll work on it some. Maybe I'll write a few fics centralized around him or something... I dunno. Anyway, I'm only a little sorry for this chapter.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie's turn!

“Charlie?”

The young aide paused when he heard Mrs. Bartlet’s voice. He’d been pacing the hallway outside of the waiting room since the president had gotten out of surgery, and the last time anyone had spoken to him since the president had told him that the shooting had been an attempted lynching. 

“Yes, ma’am?” He didn’t look up from the floor for a moment.

Mrs. Bartlet let out a soft sigh. “How are you doing, Charlie?”

He looked up, almost shocked. “How am _I_ doing?” he repeated. “I- I’m doing alright.” He didn’t say anything about how he’d been in this situation before, about how this wasn’t the first time he’d waited for news about someone he cared about. Wondering if something had happened, and if he even wanted to know the answer, Charlie began to as, “Mrs. Bartlet, how is-”

“You should go home and get some rest,” the first lady cut him off. She wouldn’t, or maybe couldn’t, meet his eyes. 

“Mrs. Bartlet-” he tried again, and again, she interrupted him.

“Charlie, you really ought to get some sleep. It’s not good for you to spend all night worrying and pacing like this.” She tried to put a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder, but he frustratedly shrugged it away. “Mrs. Bartlet!” He finally snapped. “Would you please tell me how the president is doing?”

The first lady paused, looking surprised. “The president?”

Charlie nodded slowly, growing worried. “Yes, ma’am… your husband? The leader of the free world? The man who was shot earlier?”

Abbey blinked. “Don’t sass me, young man,” she scolded, but her voice was far from angry. Ifa anything, she seemed worried, or sad, or perhaps both, which did nothing to calm Charlie’s fears. 

“Ma’am? Is the president still alright?”

“He- he’s fine. Charlie-” She looked down at the floor, and Charlie frowned. “Charlie, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this…”

It took a moment, but suddenly it hit him. “Josh-” he gasped. “Is he-”

Before he could finish the question, the first lady was talking over him. “Charlie, I need you to understand- Jed would want me to tell you- you need to know, it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

Charlie was beginning to grow panicked, an unusual feeling for him. “Mrs. Bartlet-”

“Charlie, he died.”

The words suddenly stopped. Charlie’s mouth clamped shut, and he swayed on his feet. Mrs. Bartlet put out a hand to steady him.

For a moment, he let his mind flash back- to Josh, interviewing him, treating him like a younger brother, even introducing him to Zoey. Being the older brother he never had. _Get it together,_ he finally told himself, _You’ve done it before, you can do it again._

Steadying his breathing, Charlie tried to focus on what needed to be done. Shrugging Mrs. Bartlet’s hand away, Charlie’s thoughts flew to his girlfriend. “Zoey.” Charlie looked down at the first lady. “Does she know?”

Mrs. Bartlet flinched, her controlled mask cracking for just a second before she shook her head. “No,” she replied softly. “She’d already left, and I thought- I thought it would be better if Jed told her, but he-” she faltered. “He’s asleep.”

Charlie frowned. “Mrs. Bartlet,” he began speaking deliberately. “The president- he doesn’t know, does he?”

She looked about ready to deny it, but then she met Charlie’s piercing stare. Her gaze fell and, ever so slowly, she shook her head. 

Charlie felt his heart drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this took so long!! I've been super busy with school and trying to fix my life, but I *finally* finished this, and I've got an epilogue, when it's time for that. :D (also, if the spacing is wonky, I'm SUPER sorry, my computer likes doing weird things)

**Author's Note:**

> hiya!! to continue with the deaths of our favorite characters... I'm pretty sure my friends actually hate me.


End file.
